My Review Of “Sanctuary, Quite A Conundrum”

“Sanctuary, Quite A Conundrum” is Thomas L. Phillips is the vows written for the unlikely marriage between trash cinema and horror. The film stars Sasha Ramos, Erin Cline, Emily Rogers, Anthony Rutowicz, Joe Coffey, Chris Greene, Catherine Trail and Julianna Pitt. “Sanctuary, Quite A Conundrum” follows a night of partying and sexing that turns into a cluster-f*ck of brutality and survival, when a disturbing event brings the party crashing down.

This story is nothing short of amazing, and brilliant. At first “Sactuary, Quite A Conundrum” kicks off with cliché overhypes that I was sure were going to annoy me. However ten minutes into the witty banter between the two lead female characters I was hooked. The face-paced dialog, timing and delivery of the actresses is spot on. The characters are an updated Valley Girl persona that feels relevant to a contemporary setting. Plus them b*tches was funny as hell! “Quite A Conundrum” starts off as a light, campy satire that, when the scene turns sour, gets dark real fast.

Phillips is as a modern day John Hughes. I felt the sudden sickening feeling hit as the story goes from one of light to total horror. His ability to both blend a satirical comedic air with an equal air of terror, without dragging the story down, is amazing. I felt conflicted the whole time. There is some completely nightmarish horror that takes place in the film, but there is some humor that cannot be denied. The story gets tense, then light-ish, before getting even more tense. “Quite A Conundrum” just offers a superb story from start to finish.

The special effects are the standard for a film driven more by high drama and basic action sequences. The kill scenes stay pretty equal to micro-budget level but come off, through great direction and cinematography, as high production value scenes. The blood and deaths are sudden, blunt force moments that catch you in the headlights of a horrific moment taking place before your eyes. Even then the ability of the cast to effortlessly sway between such dark material and the lighter humorous stuff is a show to the casts’ talent.

The soundtrack is pretty stellar. A mix of thriller sound effects and contemporary tunes offer a mix of suspenseful tension and terror, balanced by almost MTV video quality atmospheric slow mo situations. There are small moments that seem a bit contrived but none that altar the entertainment value or overall energy of the film. But really there has to be, honestly the fact that based on Thomas L. Phillips writing style, it is nothing short of amazing that a lot of this film doesn’t fail. “Sactuary, Quite A Conundrum” is a masterpiece and instant cult classic that everyone should see-not just horror and camp cinema fans!