Saturday, August 21, 2010

Adam Scott Will Come To Your House If You Didn’t Like Piranha 3D

Seriously. If you feel ripped off I will come to your house and act out my scenes for you and your friends. U provide shotgun and fish. Vanity Fair was intrigued by Scott’s offer, and took it upon themselves to call him and confirm the details of his proposal.
I really don’t think it will be necessary, since I can’t imagine one not being satisfied with Piranha 3-D, but just in case, yes of course I will be there. Few things: Will need the aforementioned firearm and fish. Will also need local Elisabeth Shue look-alike to run dialogue with, a plaid shirt, two high-fives (one before we run the scenes, one after), peanut M&M’s, a map with the closest Red Roof Inn circled on it (I won’t be staying there, I just like knowing where it is. I’ll be staying with you), a 700-word essay on why you neglected to recognize that Piranha 3-D totally fucking shreds, Perrier, a quick guitar lesson, one grenade, dinner with your family, and directions to the airport.

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