My Review Of "Velocipastor"

"Velocipastor" is a fun, indie horror comedy written and directed by Brendan Steere. The film stars Gregory James Cohan, Alyssa Kempinski, Claire Hsu, Daniel Steere, Yang Jiechang, Jesse Turits, Fernando Pacheco de Castro, and Aurelio Voltaire. "Velocipastor" is truly destined for cult comedy classic status, blending supernatural whimsy with a tongue-in-cheek at spiritual conviction. 

After a devastating family tragedy, a priest travels to China to find deeper spirituality, but instead is endowed with an ancient ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first, he is horrified by his newfound superpower, but a local prostitute convinces him to use his newfound gift to fight evil – and ninjas.

I fully expected to go into this movie finding it too ridiculous to review seriously. And yeah, in a way I was right. "Velocipastor" is ridiculous, it can't be taken seriously but I enjoyed every minute of it. It becomes clear very early that this movie means to be over-the-top. Much like classic horror comedies in the past, "Full Moon High", and "Pandemonium", this film knows it is absurd comedy and total cheese. 

Brendan Steere understands perfectly well the type of film he is making, and he was smart enough to gather a cast and crew who were in on the joke too. Some of the acting obviously falls short and it is a tightrope walk getting this story from scene one to the end without total collapse. Still, somehow, everything holds together with fun, entertaining craziness. And genuine laughs.

The effects are a blend of cheap CGI and low tech practical effects that fit inbetween gaming graphics and Adult Swim stuff. It would have been cool if more focus on creating a darker raptor had been taken, but still, it is a movie about a young priest turning into a dinosaur so the puppet/costume seems fitting. I have to add that "Velocipastor" has a cool soundtrack. And the whole music video montage in the center was entertaining as heck!

Overall this isn't gonna be everyone's take on "Velocipastor". And I get it, a lot of people can only get into spoof horror if it has a big budget to sell the jokes. I enjoyed this film. It is silly, over-the-top, and entertaining. It doesn't take itself serious but everyone involved were serious about creating this tongue-in-cheek bit of satire. (3/5)

My Review Of Zom Com Series 'Bunkheads'

'Bunkheads' is a low budget Zom-Com about four people waiting out the zombie apocalypse in a desert bunker. It is currently streaming on Amazon Prime and stars Josh Covitt, Carly Turro, Khalif Boyd, and Chris O’Brien. 'Bunkheads', is a six-episode series directed by Lauren Klixbull. 

A group of four lovable goofballs: an oddball teacher, a floundering actress, a techie workout warrior, and an immature wannabe rapper. You may think the hordes of undead are the biggest threat during a zombie apocalypse, but annoying roommates can be almost as much trouble.

'Bunkheads' is a classic situation comedy series that aims for short bursts of quick witted humor and cheeky banter. It doesn't hit new ground but for a webseries with budget restraints, the series manages to be fun.

 There isn't a lot of time for full character development, but in the short episodes, about 12 minutes each, there is more than enough to make a connection with audiences. At times the fast paced back-n-forth feels clunky and some punchlines fall flat, but not to a level that hurts the overall entertainment of the series.

'Bunkheads' stays more comedy than horror. Most of the zombie portion of the story line stays subjective. Happening above the offbeat , somewhat mental survivors. There are a few quick moments with zombies, body parts, but for the most part the series is straight up shtick. It is worth checking out, It sits somewhere between the one where Adam Green is hard for Dee Snider, and the one with the haunted room for rent. Don't know there names, don't feel like googling. (3/5)

My Review Of "Minutes To Midnight"

"Minutes To Midnight" is directed by Christopher Ray from a script co-written with Victoria Dadi. The film has some names attached to it, William Baldwin, Richard Grieco, Bill Moseley, Dominique Swain star alongside John Hannigan, Christopher Judge, Viva Bianca, and  Mercy Malick....and many more. The talent listed is pretty impressive and worthy for a microbudget indie project like this.

What happens when a night of fun turns into a night of horror?  Seven friends and a mysterious backpacker converge at a desolate ski lodge in the mountains and as the clock begins the countdown to the New Year, they discover that the end of the old year may be the end of all their years as they are systematically hunted down by ruthless masked men with a deadly agenda.

Ray and Dadi'so story is a heavy, well drawn out slasher filled backwoods horror that takes all the traditional but cool elements of the genre and lets loose the beast. Although it lacks originality, "Minutes To Midnight" stitches together these tropes seemless and purposefully. Nothing feels forced or too much.

I was impressed with how well the cast delivered their characters with authenticity. Fully developed, brought to life without seeming coerced or over-the-top. Aside from Bill Moseley, who always rocks, it is the lesser known,  indie 20-somethings that stand out as seasoned performers. Okay there are moments that seem to fall flat but not enough to hurt the overall energy of the movie.

The real star of this one is the special effects and creature design. The psychopaths offer some dominant and chilling horror. Angus being the real nightmare presence that pretty much guarantees sequels for "Minutes To Midnight". Plus there is tons of gore, guts and a hefty body count. The middle kinda lags with most of the drama and story taking center stage and only two kills, but the third act goes full throttle and gives good death!

Overall "Minutes To Midnight" is a nice indie slasher film that is worth watching and entertaining enough to add the collection. I plan to put this one in my stacks, earmarked for a horror watch, both Halloween and New Years. Oh and the cinematography is pretty awesome as well-atmospheric, eerie and quality work. (4/5)

My Review Of “Nacho Mountain”

I am extending my movie reviews beyond the sci-fi and horror realm with this film. I received a screener in the mail for “Nacho Mountain” which I knew just by name alone this was not a horror or b movie sci-fi flick. The film was first released in 2009 and now is being made available through a wider release on DVD. It is a low brow comedy much like the classic National Lampoon films only with a smaller budget. Keefer has a talent. He can eat. So when he gets fired from his job, finds his girl getting banged by a tranny, then gets a ticket, he finds he has no direction. Its not until his good friend Meegosh sets up FOOD WARS, an underground food eating competition in his friends basement. Word gets out and everybody in town wants a piece of the champ. But its not until the towns healthy Mayor Fingstal tries to shut things down using his two cronies, Officer Slivjack and Biggsley, thats when things really heat up. Then it all comes down to one final food battle from hell, the Nacho Mountain!

Directed by Mitch Csanadi and starring Kevin Interdonato, Jensen Bucher and Jay Larson. This movie was actually pretty funny. From the first scene the crude and explicit humor sets a clear tone that this film is intended to make you laugh. And laugh I did. The jokes were dirty and sometimes offensive and the acting was over the top exaggerated. There is almost a nonstop dialogue of profanities and school yard fart jokes on top of ridiculous slacker hyped profundities of the asinine. “Nacho Mountain” is the “Balls Of Fury” of the gluttonous world of competitive eating. I found more things I liked about this film than things to criticize so I if your part of that late night Adult Swim world then see this movie if you haven’t already!

Nacho Mountain